Dear Alcoholic, I have a lot of feelings concerning you and your behavior, and I’ve been working towards not being so angry with you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not letting your alcoholism be an excuse for your actions, I … Continue reading
I’ve been thinking about happiness a lot lately. What does it mean to be happy? I know that in general, I am a happy person. I know I feel most content when I’m with my husband, family, and friends. I’m … Continue reading
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Dear Extroverts, Let me just start off by saying you guys are great. Really and truly. The world needs people like you, and some of my best friends, family members, and heroes are extroverted. But ummmm….extroverts? You exhaust me. I … Continue reading
Today I discovered a tumblr blog called Reasons My Son is Crying. It is one of the funniest blogs I’ve ever seen and I can’t decide if it makes me want to have kids more (just so I can copycat … Continue reading
The tragedy in Connecticut yesterday has nearly left speechless. It’s one of those situations that makes me feel overwhelmed with so many different emotions. Watching coworkers, both male and female, sob at their desks yesterday suddenly brought me back to … Continue reading
One of the most powerful speeches I have ever seen was given by Ric Elias, a man who sat in the front row of the plane that crashed into the Hudson River in 2009. His speech is titled “3 things I learned while my plane crashed.” In less than 6 minutes, Ric summarizes what takes many people decades to learn and practice: the importance of living without negativity and being a good parent. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. Ric tells the audience that he hasn’t had a fight with his wife in two years, not one! Why? Because when you realize how short life can be, why waste precious time on petty issues. And they are all petty.
Two weeks ago the boyfriend of a friend of mine unexpectedly passed away. At just 23 years old, his life was over, and she feels the same about hers now, too. I watch her try to get through the workday with tears streaming down her face, a constant reminder that nobody is promised a tomorrow. “That could be me” I think to myself. I could be the one sobbing in the corner, pleading with God, begging for one more day with my love. I could be the one praying that this is a nightmare I just cant wake up from. Instead, I get to go home and see my fiancé’s face, feel his touch, and laugh at his jokes. I get to experience his unconditional love and hear his voice one more day. What my friend would give for one more day.
Two days ago my sister’s first boyfriend and close friend was murdered in his hometown. What his family, friends, and loved ones would give for one more day.
So here is my challenge to myself and to you. Try treating your husband, wife, parents, siblings, coworkers, everyone important in your life like there is no tomorrow. I know there are hundreds of cheesy quotes about “love like there is no tomorrow”, but really try and picture it. Envision your life without a specific person and ask yourself “is the way I am treating him or her today worth it?” Its a simple question with no room for “buts” or “this situation is different.”
Your husband left the lunch meat out over night again, is it the end of the world? No, not even close. All that matters is that he is alive. After all, you have been given the most precious gift of all: time. Use it wisely and thank God for it.
Let Ric Elias’ short speech serve as a guide for your life. Thankfully you and I didn’t have to be the ones sitting in the front row as our plane crashed into the Hudson, but there is no reason we cannot learn from the experience just as much as Ric did.
I am so thankful for one more day with my loved ones on this beautiful earth.
At 6:00 this morning the theme song from the television show Dexter erupted from my phone, letting me know it was time to wake up for work. I hit snooze a few times and when my “final warning” alarm went … Continue reading
It’s been a really rough month. Between my hemorrhagic cyst, the stomach virus I contracted a few days after the cyst diagnosis, severe eczema flare, and now another viral infection, I feel like complete garbage. I’m ready to drive on over … Continue reading
Last week I began my fourth online class towards my Humanities Degree. I have come to an important realization: I hate online classes.
In 2007 I enrolled in an online class in addition to my “real” classes and dropped it within two weeks. There is absolutely nothing that appeals to me about taking classes online. It is extremely frustrating because I love being a student and learning, I even like taking quizzes, tests, and pages of notes during a lecture! But online classes? They make me angry. From the past 3 classes that I have taken and received A’s in, I could not tell you ONE thing I learned. Hell, I don’t even remember the names of two of them. They blow by and are neither stimulating or satisfying.
I hate logging into my virtual classroom and seeing that the professor has posted the same exact feedback for 30 different posts made by my classmates. I hate that when I have a question about a certain topic I cannot simply raise my hand and ask, I have to post it to a discussion forum. It may be 4 days before I get an answer to my question, and by then the assignment is already over with. I hate blowing through chapters of an online textbook and never really understanding any of the topics we discuss. I hate wasting my time and money on courses that are going towards a degree that I have no idea what I’m going to do with.
I miss sitting in a real classroom, having real interaction with classmates. I want to find a way to make this happen again. In one of my last counseling sessions with Ken, he gave me a surprising 20-minute lecture. He told me that he was amazed at how far I had grown emotionally and how my perspective had changed. He also said that my biggest source of anxiety and frustration in life is going to be with my schooling and future career choice. He could not have been more right. Today I realized that these online classes make me so miserable, there is no way I can continue to do this for the next few years in order to finish a seemingly pointless degree. I need to discuss my options with Isaac and see what we can come up with because this is not working anymore.
For a brief moment I thought “I should have just stayed in school and finished my degree. I would have graduated 3 years ago!!!!” Sure, that was an option. But if I had chosen that route? I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to work with dolphins, meet my future husband, move to this city that I love so much, and somehow fall into my current job. Nothing would be the same. So for that, I am thankful. I am just feeling a little confused as to what to do now. The question what do you want to be when you grow up keeps ringing in my ears. I AM grown up, so what do I want to be?